


Bitten

by flootzavut



Series: Orientation (College and Otherwise) [4]
Category: MASH (TV)
Genre: Angst, Art, CUverse, College AU, Episode: s05e01 Bug Out, Life Drawing, M/M, Misunderstandings, Not actual smut but much nakedness, Romance, Stupid college boyfriends, Suggestive language, queer, tarts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-07
Packaged: 2019-07-06 14:46:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15888177
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/flootzavut/pseuds/flootzavut
Summary: "He still doesn't really know what thisis, but at least whatever it is doesn't involve any kind of pretence that it isn't at least...something."





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [onekisstotakewithme](https://archiveofourown.org/users/onekisstotakewithme/gifts), [shewho](https://archiveofourown.org/users/shewho/gifts).



* * *

_**Bitten** _

* * *

 

After a few days spending every spare moment together, life intervenes; BJ finds himself looking forward to his art class largely because it's the one time he's more or less guaranteed to see Hawkeye. He can't even bring himself to feel bad about it; having somewhere besides a student dorm to retreat to, having a friend who already navigated premed, having an art tutor on hand who's enthusiastic about helping him are all things he would've paid money he couldn't afford for during his first week here. Having all these things offered by an attractive guy with whom he's also having a lot of unbelievably enjoyable sex is almost too good to be true. A Hawk-less weekend was a pain in the ass; although it gave him time for uninterrupted study, sound sleep, and a couple sophomore mixers, he might be getting slight withdrawal symptoms.

He has wild notions of arriving in time to talk to Hawk, or maybe to help out with his pregame... ritual. (The thought of spectating or even helping Hawk crossed his mind more than once the last few days. Apparently BJ has an inner exhibitionist he's only just discovering; the idea of jerking Hawk off and having to stifle Hawk's cries with his mouth because people are rapidly filling the classroom on the other side of the door was a significant player in his last solo orgasm.) As it turns out, though, his chem lab runs up till the very last minute; when he bursts into the art studio a few minutes late, Hawk is already naked.

It may (it definitely does) give BJ a lift when Hawk greets his appearance with a wide grin and a twinkle in his eye, then taps an imaginary watch on his wrist.

Heat rushes to BJ's face, but he can't help smiling, too. He still doesn't really know what this  _is_ , but at least whatever it is doesn't involve any kind of pretence that it isn't at least...  _something_.

It's different and new and a bit wonderful to be drawing Hawk after experiencing him up close and personal. BJ's grateful he's not the one who needs to exercise some self-control, because all the memories that come with staring at Hawk's body and remembering how he feels and tastes, how he reacts when BJ touches him, aren't conducive to keeping his boner under wraps, but it's really hard to care, because the fact he has all those memories makes him grin uncontrollably.

It really doesn't hurt that Hawk still apparently can't take his eyes off of BJ. It doesn't seem like Hawk's in any hurry for this to end, or like sleeping with BJ lessened his interest in any way, which buoys BJ's mood better than any kind of intoxication he's ever tried.

The main difference this lesson is that BJ isn't trying to pretend he's not ogling the fuck out of Hawk's body, and it's a very relaxing change. The hickey on Hawk's neck doesn't make him jealous, because it's his own work - he's a little sad it's starting to fade. When he stares for too long at Hawk's cock (kinda hoping, if he's honest, he can break Hawkeye's control and prompt an erection), he just looks up and meets Hawk's gaze, and they grin knowing, goofy grins at one another.

It's fun. BJ's glad the rest of the class are serious artists, despite how intimidated he was that first day; everyone seems engrossed enough, they might just miss how the sophomore in their midst and their model are looking at each other like like hungry, horny animals.

Without really meaning to, it turns out he accidentally started a game of chicken, because from that point on, every time he looks up, Hawk either gives him a look heated enough to cause sunburn or pulls a face so absurd BJ struggles not to laugh aloud.

BJ retaliates by licking his lips ostentatiously as he stares at the parts of Hawk's body he knows are most sensitive, and then, reckless and inspired, pretends (inexpertly but effectively, given the way Hawk's eyes widen) to fellate the end of his pencil. (It's a minor triumph when Hawk's cheeks go pink.)

The only downside is that he doesn't know what to do with himself come the break. No one else seems all that interested in the silent conversation they were having, but he suddenly feels like there's a sign over his head saying 'I slept with Hawkeye Pierce, a lot, and plan to do it again as often as possible' in huge neon letters. Knowing he's being an idiot doesn't make the feeling go away.

Hawk seems to have no such problem, perching happily on the edge of BJ's desk to say hi and offer helpful advice on this week's efforts and a joke about something the teacher said; BJ misses most of it, because he's so painfully aware Hawk's naked under that robe. When Hawk shifts and the robe slips open to reveal a tempting glimpse of his thigh, BJ can't get past the realisation that he could slide his hand up Hawk's leg, could so easily reach out and touch Hawk's cock. And part of him wants to so badly. He's pretty certain it's frowned on to feel up the model in class, though, even with consent and when he's already done it in private.

He thinks he's managing to at least seem like he's paying attention right up until the break is almost up and Hawk leans in to murmur in his ear. "You know, when you look at me that way, you make it really difficult for me to keep a hold of myself," Hawk says, low and amused.

BJ blushes so hard he feels slightly lightheaded. Judging by Hawk's grin, it was exactly the response he hoped for, and there's a definite spring in his step as he strolls back to his chaise to disrobe.

"Fink," BJ whispers after him, and gets a laugh for his trouble.

BJ's getting into the swing of things now, and he expects to be admiring Hawk's back for the second half of the lesson. What he doesn't expect, what makes him feel sick before he can even put his finger on why, is the livid bruise on the taut, smooth flesh of Hawk's buttock. It's quite obviously a love bite, stark against Hawk's pale skin, BJ imagines he can almost see the imprint of teeth.

For a moment he just studies it, pictures pressing his mouth to that same spot and how Hawk would respond. Remembers the taste of his skin. God, he should bite Hawk there first chance he gets, and... Fuck.

 _Fuck_.

Reality dawns, and now he knows why it made him nauseous. He never bit Hawk there - he'd remember - and anyway, the mark is too fresh, too new, to be from the last time they slept together. That was someone else. It was someone else... it could be anyone. The who of it isn't really the point. Hawkeye Pierce let someone touch and lick and bite him, let them kiss his skin, let them get close enough to suck hard on the flesh of his backside, in the brief time since BJ last got to see him naked, and by the looks of it, he doesn't think that's a big deal.

 _Fuck_. It's like someone slapped BJ in the face. It's like  _Hawkeye_  slapped him in the face. It's not okay. It's really not okay. It shouldn't be this big a deal, should it? But he can't help it. He's lightheaded again, except not in a good way, he feels hot and cold and like he's gonna hurl, and he  _hates_  himself for this reaction.

He tries, tries really hard, to squash the anger and how upset he is. He's being ridiculous, he knows that; he has no right to be possessive or jealous. It's not like either of them said this was a relationship or even that it would continue, let alone said or implied that it was in any way exclusive. But still. It hurts. It... it really hurts, and BJ can't will it away.

Hawk sat there for over an hour, making eyes at him, making him blush and laugh into his hand, and the whole time he had someone else's toothmarks on his ass, and it _really fucking hurts_.

BJ manages almost an hour longer, an hour of staring at and obsessing over the splash of colour on Hawk's butt, an hour where he draws almost nothing yet manages to break the lead in his pencil three times, but eventually it's too much, he feels sick, so he quietly gathers his things, pads out of the classroom as silently and unobtrusively as he can while the teacher's back is turned, and doesn't even look to see if Hawkeye noticed he left.


	2. Chapter 2

The entire way to his dorm room, BJ alternately wants to kick himself for leaving, and wants to kick Hawk for being so casual about... everything.

It's not fair, he knows that - it's not as if Hawk's proclivity for sleeping around is surprising or news. It's the worst kept secret on campus; the only things everyone knows about him are his nickname and his sexual appetite. BJ's not much for gossip, but he gathered Hawkeye had a  _reputation_  before he even knew Hawk's surname, and he's heard... things, this last week, things that got to him, things he tried to ignore,  _wanted_  to ignore. He couldn't get Hawkeye Pierce out of his mind, didn't want to stay out of Hawkeye's bed, but he's never been comfortable as a notch on someone's bedpost.

He was afraid he'd made a huge mistake, though he tried his best to excuse and ignore the possibility, especially since it didn't stop him from allowing Hawk to monopolise his free time as much as possible. If he'd slept with Hawk once and gotten it out of his system, maybe he'd feel better about it, but no, he found any and every excuse to seek Hawkeye out, for sex and food and company. (And Hawk sought him out, too, which is both a comfort and exceedingly confusing.)

This whole time he had a running commentary in his head insisting it didn't matter anyway, because he wasn't naïve and didn't expect commitment. He knew what he was getting into, he didn't expect this to become an actual relationship. He told himself often enough, he almost believed it was true, that it was fine, everything was cool, it was copacetic, but now...

Actually seeing the evidence on Hawk's ass? That jolted him right out of his denial. It was... fuck, it  _hurt_. Especially after Hawk making eyes at him the whole time he was facing BJ's direction. It shouldn't be so upsetting, and maybe it's unfair of BJ to be so mad about it, but it is and he is. And his anger at himself is just making it worse.

It doesn't compute. How can Hawk behave like the world's most attentive boyfriend, how can he draw such tender pictures, even pictures of them together, tell BJ he's beautiful, then turn around and sleep with someone else like it's just... nothing.

It's bewildering and exasperating. BJ can't make sense of it, and the worst thing is that he still wants to, he wants so badly to understand Hawkeye, he doesn't want to chalk this up to experience and quietly remove himself from the equation. He wants Hawk in his life, in any way that's on offer, even though it might break him.

He wants to blame Hawk for all of it, but he can't. It's not as if Hawk pretended to be something he wasn't, even if who he is is confusing and contradictory. Maybe he did a damn good impression of a perfect boyfriend, but he never claimed to be one. Quite the reverse, if BJ's honest with himself. Hawk outright called himself a slut, he didn't even excuse it or qualify it. At the time, it made BJ sad; now it leaves him wondering how he managed to misread this entire situation so badly.

_Because I wanted to_.

It would all be so much easier if he didn't like Hawk so damn much, or if he could be as casual about it as Hawk apparently is. If he could enjoy Hawk without wondering what else he was doing and with whom. Or hell, if BJ could convince himself it wasn't worth it and walk away.

But no, that would be far too simple; instead, he both wants to keep Hawkeye, in any and every way possible, and wants things from him that might never be on offer.

"You're a fucking  _idiot_ , Hunnicutt," he says, once he's back in his room and no one's around to think it's weird that he's talking to himself.

He sets aside all his artwork and finds a textbook from a subject they don't share to read and make notes on. It might be a little petty, or just a little childish, but the last thing he needs right now is to be faced with yet more reminders of Hawkeye Pierce. He'll put Hawk right out of his mind for a few hours and learn some of this shit.

(Or at least, he'll learn some of this shit.)

He still hasn't dragged himself out of his funk when there's a knock on his door. He's in no mood to be sociable, and stays quiet, but the third time whoever it is knocks, he decides anyone that persistent will annoy him into moving eventually, so he'd best get rid of them now.

He doesn't expect to find Hawkeye standing there, hands in his pockets, a shy grin on his face.

"Hullo. You disappeared so quick, I didn't get a chance to say hi!"

BJ blinks. It didn't occur to him Hawk would come looking for him. "How did you find my room?"

It's Hawkeye's turn to be confused. "I asked someone?" he says, and he looks so taken aback, it's really hard for BJ to stay mad at him, which makes BJ more mad, because how dare Hawk look so adorably bemused? "I didn't think you'd mind." Hawk smiles unconvincingly. "Do you mind?" he asks, in a much smaller voice.

BJ just stares at him.  _I don't mind that at all, Hawk. What I mind is that I was really starting to like you, and then I saw someone else's toothmarks on your backside, and now I don't know what to think. Especially since I still_ really _like you_. "I don't mind?" he replies, and he didn't mean it to come out like a question, but he can't seem to make himself sound certain.

Hawkeye doesn't look reassured; in fact, he looks more nervous and uncertain than BJ's seen him yet, even more than when he showed BJ those pictures. He seems to shrink into himself, and BJ notices for the first time that he's several inches taller than Hawk. How did he never realise that before?

"I'm sorry," Hawk says, in that same small voice. "I didn't mean to intrude." He shakes his head and steps back from the doorway. "I'll just..." He makes a vague gesture with his hands and turns to walk away.

The sane option here would be to let him go, for BJ to figure out how he feels and reconnect when he isn't so pissed. So naturally, what he actually does is to reach out and grab Hawk's forearm, yank him back, then panic when that leaves them practically nose to nose.

"Beej?" Hawk isn't quite looking at him, even though they're standing uncomfortably close.

BJ swallows. "Why did you come here, Hawk?"

Hawk blinks a few times. "I wanted - that coffeeshop near my place does the most amazing fruit tarts. I thought you might come with me. And..." He pauses, and his eyes flicker up to meet BJ's briefly. "And I wanted to see you," he adds, with an unconvincing shrug, in a voice quieter than BJ imagined Hawkeye Pierce even possessed.

"Oh."

It would be shockingly easy to kiss Hawk right now - BJ even wants to, which is infuriating. Damn him for being so...  _so_.

BJ still has a hold of Hawk, and he finds himself rubbing his thumb over the tender skin of Hawk's inner arm. He should probably stop, but he doesn't. Eventually Hawk looks up, peering at BJ through his eyelashes. It's too damn winsome, but BJ's running out of energy to mind.

"So they do good pastries?"

Hawk blinks once, then relaxes enough to grin. "Tarts, Beej. Tarts. Not just any pastries, real French tarts. They're so good, I promise, I'm talking  _mouthgasms_."

BJ rolls his eyes, but he's a sucker for that smile. "Gimme a moment," he says, and doesn't miss Hawk's relief as he grabs his jacket and wallet.


	3. Chapter 3

Hawkeye livens up on the walk over. He's still not exactly the bolshy loudmouth BJ's gotten used to and fondly tolerant of, but he starts properly looking BJ in the eye and actually talking again. It's perfectly obvious he realises BJ's mad at him, even more obvious that he doesn't understand why, but he doesn't ask and BJ doesn't tell.

(BJ isn't sure if it just didn't occur to Hawk that BJ might conceivably be upset when his 'busy weekend' turned out to involve sleeping with someone else, or if he didn't realise a fresh hickey on his butt would make it obvious what he'd gotten up to. BJ can't even decide which of those is the better (or at least, less bad) option. Is Hawk oblivious to how much BJ likes him, or is he just plain oblivious? BJ has no idea.)

The barista at the coffeeshop today is a pretty girl BJ recognises from one of his chem classes, and it's both confusing and amusing when Hawk frowns at her for gently flirting with BJ, then grabs BJ's sleeve like he's staking his claim. It should probably annoy BJ more, he should be angry at Hawk's hypocrisy, and he definitely shouldn't be secretly delighted, but when Hawk hooks his chin over BJ's shoulder, it's so natural BJ really can't bring himself to mind.

They bicker about which tarts to buy, then again when Hawk refuses to let BJ pay half, but it's all goodnatured and comfortable. It makes BJ's heart ache, because it's so easy to slip back into the intimacy they established last week, and it would be so easy to start thinking of Hawkeye as his boyfriend, but he reminds himself fiercely about those unfamiliar toothmarks and tries to ignore how it's affecting him to have Hawk in his space.

Hawk kisses the side of his neck, and when the barista hands over their coffees and the neatly boxed pastries, she smiles indulgently at them, as if to say what a cute couple they make; if it weren't for his intermittently churning gut, BJ would be tempted to agree.

They don't talk about where they're gonna go. It's natural to leave the coffeeshop and meander over to Hawk's building, to drop their empty coffee cups in the trash can on the sidewalk, to talk all the way up the stairs, to laugh when Hawk fumbles his keys and can barely manage to get the door open.

Hawk's apartment is a mess, and he cringes when they get inside, like it's only now BJ's here that he realises it's kind of a pigsty. "Fuck. I didn't think this through."

BJ laughs again. "What happened? Tornado?"

Hawk pokes out his tongue. "I was, uh-" he wrinkles his nose "-I was having a bad day. I decided to clean up."

BJ raises an eyebrow.

"Yeah." Hawk shrugs. "It... didn't work out."

They wander in; the place really does look like ground zero in a disaster movie.

About the only clear space is on Hawk's bed. BJ would suspect Hawk of planning this if it weren't for his comic expression of dismay and BJ's growing certainty that Hawk never thinks far enough ahead to be that sneaky.

 _Oh, fuck it_. BJ throws himself down on the bed and gives Hawk a challenging look.

He's not sure what he expected, but Hawk gives him a shy smile in return and sits next to him, cross-legged, his thigh brushing BJ's shoulder.

"Beej?" Hawk says, as he passes BJ's pastry over.

"Yeah?"

Hawk strokes his fingers through BJ's hair in a gesture so tender it makes BJ's breath catch. "I- I'm really glad you came over," he whispers. "I missed you."

BJ has no idea how to respond to that, so he props himself semi-upright against the headboard and takes a bite of his tart instead.

As it turns out, that proves to be an excellent distraction. "Fucking hell, this is good."

Hawk laughs triumphantly. "Right? They're amazing."

They eat in companionable silence for a while, a silence broken only by exclamations of eternal fidelity to whoever baked their pastries, then compete over who gets to eat the inevitable crumbs all over BJ's sweatshirt. It's comfy and cosy, and when Hawk lies down next to him and snuggles in, BJ can almost forget why he's mad. He kisses Hawk's hair then shuffles down, and they're lying side by side, and he doesn't protest when Hawk takes his hand. This is too intimate, this is behaviour that should only be indulged in by actual couples, but it's also really nice, and BJ can't turn it down.

"BJ?" Hawk says eventually, rolling on his side and resting his chin on BJ's shoulder. He sounds vulnerable and young all of a sudden, his voice soft and confiding - as quiet as it was earlier, but not like he's scared. More like he's telling BJ an important secret.

"Mmhm?"

"I... I really like you," Hawk says. "I fuck around a lot, ask anybody. I'm the campus bicycle, always have been. But there's something about you. I  _really_  like you, Beej."

BJ swallows hard. All the gossip, that bruise on Hawk's backside like a stamp that said 'you fucked up', every doubt he's had this week, everything that says he's utterly out of his depth, is competing for his attention alongside how much he likes Hawk, even if he's still a little mad right now. He's not sure if Hawk realised why he's upset, or if this is a spontaneous confession. He can't decide whether or not that even matters.

Hawk brushes BJ's hair back from his face, then gently touches his cheek. "I'm not expecting you to reply, or even to believe me," he murmurs. "I just wanted you to know."

BJ doesn't know what to say, but he has to do something - he can't just do nothing. He  _wants_  to say 'God, I really like you, too', but Hawk's reputation definitely precedes him, and BJ is relieved, but scared. It's not as if Hawk's saying anything that implies this is... more. That makes BJ think days like today won't happen again. Oh God, it's so confusing.

He turns his head to look into Hawk's eyes, to study his face. Jesus, he's pretty. And he looks sincere and even worried. Reputation or no, even with that shiny new hickey on his butt still repeating in Technicolor in BJ's head, it's tempting to take the leap, to jump in headfirst, because as well as being pretty and sexy and fucking incredible in bed, Hawkeye's funny and good company and makes BJ laugh so hard he cries.

BJ's cautious, though, like he always is. (The one glaring exception being when he pushed Hawk into bed and scrabbled desperately at his clothes within an hour of their first real conversation.) He's not ready for this, even if part of him wants to be so badly.

In lieu of a better response, he squeezes Hawk's hand, then leans in and kisses him warmly, lets it deepen into something sweet and heartfelt, and when he pulls back, Hawk gives him a smile BJ's never seen before, one that lights up his whole face with delight yet is somehow shy and almost innocent, then looks away.

"Hawk?"

"Yeah?"

BJ doesn't know how to say what he wants to say - doesn't think it's safe to say 'I really like you', has no idea how Hawk would react to 'I want all of you, I don't want to have to compete.' So he falls back on a safer topic. "You were right about the pastries. That was amazing. Thanks."

Hawk grins, mischievous again. "Didn't feed you on our first date. Had to make up for it somehow." He waggles his eyebrows. "Tarts seemed... thematically appropriate."

BJ wants to roll his eyes or groan or tell Hawk he has the worst timing and worst sense of humour in the known universe, but instead he laughs his ass off, then pulls Hawk into another kiss; it still tastes of peaches and raspberries and crème pâtissière.

This may not be long-term or committed or exclusive, or any of the other things BJ wishes it could be, but he really likes Hawkeye and Hawkeye really likes him, and (at least for the moment), that's enough.

_~ fin ~_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy My Birthday, have another chapter ;)


End file.
